Positively Perfect 02/25/2011
Adapted from Rambam, R. Pliskin and “The Work” of Byron Katie) My life is positively perfect in every possible way! And here’s the surprising truth- so is yours! How’s that? It’s actually all very simple. The way it works is like this: Hashem is perfect in every possible sense of the word. Hashem guides, controls and directs every single detail of our lives. This includes every aspect of the greatest to the tiniest events and experiences we will face or have ever faced. There’s really no difficulty in having an incredibly peaceful, tranquil and ideal existence. (Oh yeah?) Honestly- what is there to complain about? If it’s already happened, then it has to have come about by Hashem’s will. If it came about by Hashem’s will then it has to be the absolutely best thing I could ever possibly imagine for myself right now. G-d “can’t” do better than His best right?! If it could get better then it would be. Here comes a very bold statement: “I wish everything in my life right now would be exactly the way it is.” (By everything I mean everything!) Why? Firstly, because it is that way already. I can’t deny or change reality which has already taken place. Reality is what it is. Wanting it to be different only causes me a lot more grief, stress and tension- but it NEVER has or ever will change what has already taken place. Whether it took place 3 seconds ago, 30 years ago or 300 years ago- it all adds up to the same. What’s over is over- no matter how much I don’t like it. Fighting reality is futile and only leads to more immeasurable and needless pain and frustration. A second reason why I wish everything to be the way it is, is, because there are no accidents, random or happenchance events in life- EVER! Hashem’s guiding “hand” is always behind the scenes. He is the Master Writer, Producer and Director of the show, so sit back, relax and enjoy watching it unfold! This approach requires a great deal of openness and willingness to accept, absorb and digest. (Even more than a heavy cholent- if that’s possible!) After every frustrating event perhaps it would be helpful to start saying to yourself “It should be that way”: eg. She should be angry with me. (Because she is and Hashem wants it to be that way right now in this moment) He should be yelling at me. (Because he is) The kids should be fighting. (Because they are) The baby should be throwing her food on the floor- again! My davening/mitzvos should be the way they were today. My weight should be what it is. The dishes should be piled up. I should be tired. We should have no money right now. Does this advocate passivity? Not in the slightest. What this approach does suggest, however, is an unbelievably freeing experience of life. Living life with openness, positivity and creativity instead of frustration, anger and pain. Accepting what is, as it is, melts away resistance and opens up doors of possibility to step out into life with a renewed energy, spontaneity and willingness to be and do the best that you can. Once that happens all your judgments, criticisms and objections to life simply fall away. (Sounds like a dream right?) From that place of peace, calm and acceptance you can choose how to respond to the events of your life right now. Sound worth it? Go on and give it a try! Add Comment Living Life With Abundance! 02/25/2011
Last night I met some guys I am working together with on a project. I could not believe it! They let us down again with the exact same issue we had had a week earlier! I could not fathom how they had not taken care of something crucial they needed to do, a whole week later!! “How was it possible? What have they been doing all week? Don’t they take this work seriously? They are being paid for it! It is their responsibility!” When I was davening Ma’ariv later on, I realized the “trap” I had fallen into. I had allowed myself to fall into the “Din” den of hungry lions trap! In this place my mind is filled with judgments, criticism, bitterness, resentment, complaining, moaning, groaning, and so on. (Sound familiar to anyone?) Here is a fundamental spiritual truth which is extremely crucial for us to bear in mind and be conscious of whenever we possibly can. When we are in the “Din” hungry lion cage reality what’s so bad? So what’s the problem? I’m just venting? Isn’t that a healthy thing to do? If you live your life with no spiritual perspective, perhaps yes. But we see the world through different eyes. Any time I am expressing or exhibiting “Din” I am simultaneously evoking and awakening more. I realized as I was davening that I was in a Din reality. This meant that everything I was thinking about those “lousy, rotten, no-goodnicks” would awaken din/judgment upon them. Did I really want to be doing that? No. But it goes further than that. Pirkei Avot teaches “Da mah l’mala- mimcha!” What ever is going on in the higher worlds- it is coming from YOU! We awaken the judgment/ or love and kindness upon ourselves. Being in Din reality doesn’t only jeopardize the people you are thinking about, it also surrounds you with an aura of being judged and scrutinized. Not only that but it opens up the spiritual pipelines of judgment on the entire world as well! (Don’t we already have enough tragedies in Am Yisrael-Lo Aleinu!?) That thought certainly stopped me in my tracks! “OK, so how do I change direction and put my mind into Rachamim City?” From a place of compassion I tried to think of what good I could find in them. I began to judge them favorably. “I’m sure they’re trying their best. Maybe they did put a lot of time into improving their work, and I’m not aware of it. They are good guys.” They became more “human” in my eyes. Then I decided I would daven for them. “Hashem, please help them get their work done. Help them to concentrate and be focused. Perhaps things at home are tense and they are stressed out. Please help them to have inner-calm and menuchat hanefesh in their lives. Help us all to get along and work well as a team”. What happened? Firstly, it calmed me down. But more importantly, I now became a source of goodness and blessing for these guys, for myself and for the world! I was able to turn around the effect of what I had been causing before. Now the spiritual pipelines where open for bringing down bracha/blessing, shefa/abundance, and Hashem’s love, protection and goodness! Next time you hear those hungry lions growling, be sure to keep this all in mind! Here’s a great game that requires no props and you can play it silently in your own mind. The benefits of playing are amazing and it’s also a lot of fun. Beginner Level: Step 1 - Pick any situation, person, or object that comes to mind, Step 2 - Give your mind free-reign to exaggerate, be a little “wild” and “out of the box” and even a little ridiculous (in a fun way- as you’ll see), Step 3 - Start thinking only positive things about whatever you have chosen, once you get warmed up try to be as outrageously positive as you can possibly be! Advanced Level: Follow the steps above, only this time pick a situation, person or thing that you REALLY DON’T LIKE! The more they get on your nerves the better. Here are some examples taken out of davening in shul: 1) You’re in a shul where it’s very hot and uncomfortable, 2) Someone’s davening too loud/kids are running around and it’s really disturbing, 3) The chazzan is rushing through the davening like he has a train to catch, he’s singing tunes you don’t like and he has a lousy voice! Let the game begin…. “This is the most beautiful shul I’ve ever been to in my life! This is the highest davening ever! I bet that loud guy is one of those hidden L”Vnicks (36 tzaddikim), he’s such a hidden tzaddik even he doesn’t know it! This chazzan has the sweetest voice ever! This must be what it was like davening in the Beis Hamidash, listening to the Levi’im singing! So Holy! I am so happy I came to this shul! It’s such a gift, such a privilege! This heat is such a kaporah! The noise, all these little kids running around, it’s so alive, so full of life and energy.…..!!!!! I love it! I wish I could daven here everyday of my life! It’s such a privilege to be Jewish! It’s such a privilege to be alive! Sound a little too flaky? Don’t criticize it until you try it out. The bottom line is- IT WORKS!! Even if you take the most unpleasant situation- if you really allow yourself to let go- there will come a time when you will open up and start to connect and viola! everything you are saying to yourself actually starts to FEEL TRUE! Just keep on repeating it. When you get there- you will know you have arrived and it WILL feel great! (It’s also a great game to play in the car with your kids or around the Shabbas table. Sure beats boredom, complaining and eating yourself up!) My Essence Is Pure 06/28/2010
Nuts are so delicious but the shell is impossible to eat. Ever heard of someone who’s “a tough nut to crack”? We all have our fair share of “klipot”- psychological or emotional “shells”, barriers or blockages. Know anyone who doesn’t? My essence is pure. As children we pick up all kinds of messages and beliefs about ourselves. “I’m no good at this or that or at anything at all!”, “I’m not popular or successful” and so on, we can all add to the list the limiting and restricting beliefs that we go around our day to day lives wearing. It’s like we get up in the morning cleansed from a good night’s sleep, go to our closet and put back on the familiar old “strait jacket” that we have been wearing for who knows how many years. Do you know that no one can ever touch your essence. We were created pure, innocent, untouched, undefiled, pristine and whole. Believe it or not- we have always remained exactly that way!! That never changes. Our essence is as pure today as the day our soul was blown into our little body so long ago. What does happen though is that we pick up different pieces of clothing all through life. Clothing that’s sometimes too small and sometimes to big, sometimes that has holes in them or are dirty and stained, but no matter what, they always remain simply that- just clothing, external garb and attire which surrounds us but is not who we are. They are not our essence. G-d cherishes us and coos and oohs and aahs over us just as we do over our own teeny little children, who are so precious and delightful to us. I might make mistakes in life, I might even mess up real big once in a while, but always remember this- my essence is pure- I am good. That will never change, not since the day I took my first breath until the day that I take my last. When we see evil people, we see their klipot, the barriers and blockages that surround them- not their essence. Do you want to be seen for who you really are in your essence? Do you want to be related to in your authentic and most truthful and real self? Do you want people to see the masterpiece inside which you are and have always been? Here’s an important principle to take with us through life- see yourself as a true masterpiece and others will too! See your children in the beauty and magnificence of who they truly are and they will develop an accurate and true belief in themselves, of who they are and who they can truly be. They will go through life knowing “MY ESSENCE IS PURE AND GOOD”. This Precious Moment 06/17/2010
All the joy and happiness of life- we experience only in this precious moment. In our minds and imaginations we can drift off to some memory way back in the past or to picturing how something is going to be in the distant future. Even if we simply get stuck in the minute that just was, or are anticipating what is to be in one minutes time- we are still not 100% fully “present”. Consider this- we experience all five of our senses; sight, smell, hearing, taste and touch only in this moment. It’s true, we can recall the beautiful smell of Shabbas challos, we can picture the heartwarming sight of children dressed in their best around the Shabbas table, we can recall the joyous sound of Shababs zmiros, but when we “see” all this, we are “seeing” it only in our “minds eye”- right now in this moment. The warm feelings we get, all are taking place right now. The pleasure we experience sitting in the warm sunshine, watching its rays glistening through the leaves, hearing the birds chirping- we experience only right now. The more we are open and fully present- the more we are able to enjoy it and take it all in. Small children know the secret of being alive. Life is so simple when we don’t disconnect or block ourselves from experiencing it. The Arizal teaches that in all of existence and in all of history this moment never existed before and will never ever exist again! It appears on the horizon of time, it comes into focus, it’s “born” into reality, it exists for only one moment, it passes on, fades away and disappears for ever, never to return. Be sure to be fully present to enjoy it and experience the exhilaration that comes with being alive. Take a moment to fill you lungs with a full deep breath. Release it slowly. Allow yourself to relax and connect to where you are right now, feel all of your five senses, slow your mind down. You may just be surprised to discover how amazing it is to be fully connected and present to this precious moment. This is a correspondence I had recently. I thought it might be valuable for readers of my blog. I was asked the following question: (Personal details have been kept private). I was wondering what you think about someone living in the same city where they developed PTSD. After moving back to this city to be near my family, I find it more and more uncomfortable, and my panic attacks have returned. Do you think the L-rd sent me back here to conquer my fears or that it would be best to move. I seemed to do much better when I lived in another town. My response: Hi ... Thank you for being in contact. Questions like these depend very much on each individual, what circumstances caused your PTSD, what your coping skills are like, what kind of support system you have, your individual personality etc. It makes a lot of sense that when you are closer to the source of what caused your PTSD, that it will become more active and prevalent for you. Obviously living somewhere else doesn't mean that it has gone away but simply that you don't have as much triggers setting it off. Ultimately it is very unpleasant to live with PTSD as it will always be beneath the surface of many experiences that you have no matter where you are. Any opportunity to face it and deal with it is in a way a blessing because it is an invitation for you to heal and come to terms with what you have been through. Of course you need to assess for yourself how difficult it is for you living near your family. If it becomes very difficult to cope normally you may want to consider moving away again. I believe that G-d guides our lives and brings us opportunities to grow. I also believe that we have the solutions we need within us as well as the ability to be well. Obviously this is easier said than done. This doesn't take away from the fact that we still need a whole lot of guts, courage and willingness to face our fears and change how we see ourselves and how we act in the world. At the very least you have an opportunity to tune into your inner world and listen to what is going on for you. I encourage you to trust yourselves and believe in your ability to be well. I also suggest you consider praying for guidance to receive the clarity, courage and health that you are looking for. Make yourself open to receive G-d's blessing and healing. This in and of itself is a very important and beneficial step towards healing. Let me know how this has been for you. I know that my response has been brief and that there is a lot more we could discuss and explore to really get to the bottom of what is going on for you. Perhaps you would want to be in contact again and we can set up a time to work together. Looking forward to hearing from you. Best wishes Yehuda `Shull Listening And Healing 12/02/2009
For me the term "holistic" involves an integrated approach to emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing. Our "systems" are all inter-connected and influence one another. In the vast majority of cases physical symptoms are nothing more than the body's expression that something emotional or spiritual is "out of synch". G-d designed us in such a way that our bodies know what is good for us and what we need for healing to take place. The "work" is learning how to listen and respond appropriately to those "messages". Listening has a lot to do with healing. I would not consider myself "new-age" in the traditional sense. The traditional meaning of new-age, as I understand it, is a combination of pagan and atheistic beliefs which amount to -"whatever feels good goes". If there's something to take from religion which feels good- take it, the rest you can trash in the garbage. This is not my approach or belief system. G-d sends His blessing and healing into the world via various vehicles and agents. This is what I mean by being a "messenger". If I am worthy G-d will use me as a conduit for His healing and light to come into the world and be directed to whoever needs it. If we make ourselves into open vessels then we may merit to receive this. By "open" I mean to move ourselves, and particularly our egos, out of the way. How exactly to do that is what a lot of my work (both personal and professional) is about. Living with REALITY 11/19/2009
"We suffer NOT by what HAPPENS to us, BUT by our thoughts about what happens". (Epictetus) As the thinking CHANGES, the problems DISAPPEAR. SUFFERING is OPTIONAL If you want reality to be different than it is, you might as well try to teach a CAT to BARK. (Bryon Katie) ACCEPTANCE 11/04/2009
The Paradox of ACCEPTANCE. One of the greatest sources of pain and frustration in our lives is our demand that things be different. "He shouldn't have come late!" "I shouldn't have paid so much!" "You shouldn't have gotten sick!" "It should never have happened!" "Why can't I get things right?!" "Why is it raining so much! I can't take this cold weather any more!" "This stupid machine is not working again!" CONSIDER the following: Our inability to accept a situation as it is, often creates more of a difficulty then the actual situation itself. Does "acceptance" mean we need to "settle" for something which is not OK or which is not the way we want it to be? With acceptance comes a feeling of peace and relief. In order to achieve this we need to accept the situation 100% as it is. If you want a really intense dose of relief- try WISHING that the situation would be exactly the way it is! NOW- from that place of acceptance consider what you may want to be different in your life. Feel how much more you are able to access your internal resources of energy, positivity, optimism, joy and hope. Lets make something very clear- the issue here isn't wether or not you want things to be different. The issue is- when you want things to be different, what emotional "space" are you in or are you coming from? If you succeed in accepting things as they are then when you want things to change it's not because you are motivated by frustration or pain or because you "just can't take it any more!". Rather it's coming from a place of "I love life", "Everything in my life is going great!". NOW- "How can I make things even better?". When you are coming from this place you will be amazed at how creative and positive you can be! Give it a try and experience for yourself the "magic" that I am speaking about. Let me know how it goes. [If you want to work on this further, be in contact and we can set up a time to work on it individually. Wishing you lots of success and looking forward to hearing from you.] Encouragement 04/28/2009
Encouragement | ArchivesNovember 2010 Categories |
RSS Feed